Oh Punk

Late Night, Hot, Hot, Action!

Check out this BBM conversation:



Yeah, that's right, I'm the man.

Alright. Yeah, well. Uhhh. Okay. So no. This isn't what it seems like. This is really a text from my buddy -- who is a guy -- and no -- I DO NOT play for that team, but I played on his team.

Confused? We were talking about playing Starcraft 2.

I know, I know. How lame. Back in 2006 this text would've been from miscellaneous 23 year old bimbo, and the only point-and-clicking would be ...

... but, how can you hate on a game who's fans make professional Justin Bieber paraodies!? I wanna be the guy who shows up in the Lambo:





If you don't know what a Baneling is, GFY.

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Online Dating for Dummies

With a busy, busy schedule I have been scoping out the online dating scene. You have to love the the quality -- made in China quality -- of some of these women.


For instance, take a look at her tagline:


She's smrt, so be affraid, be very affraid.

I have VERY little hope for this site...

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Waffles, breakfast of champions!

I had some pretty stellar tickets to tonight's vs Boston Bruins hockey game Boston Bruins vs Toronto Maple Leafs hockey game at the Air Canada Centre.



In typical fashion, the Leafs lost. Surprise, surprise.

Personally? I don't care. In my bubble world, hockey is almost a figment of my imagination -- but -- the die hard fans, they're hurting. Look at them, it has come to this (video of pic below):


The fans are so angry at Leafs General Manager, Brian Burke, that they're throwing waffles onto the ice.

Why? Because the Leafs had to rebuild the entire team and instead they traded away draft picks and prospects for slacker players. They went for a quick fix, kinda how an Eggo Waffle is compared to a full healthy breakfast.

Anyway, with that said, hilarity has ensued. There are waffles and wafflers everywhere:





There's even a Twitter feed by the EGGO BOMBER. For real? I might just start watching hockey to get in on this. It's great. Even the players are even upset:



If you're going to rank 29th place out of 30 teams, you better learn to live with this ridicule. What a bunch of babies.

Speaking of babies I cried myself last night. Take a look at the winning 50/50 draw ticket for $6,400 cash:


... and now, take a look at my ticket:


Off by two numbers! If I bought my tickets 30 seconds later. The horror. The heartache! So much for that $6,000 jacket I've been eyeing.

FML, or as Leafnation would say FTML. *insert fog horn sound*

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Miami to Ibiza, let's burn that place down!

I was flipping through YouTube and noticed that The Swedish House Mafia has a music video called Miami to Ibiza. It idolizes the lifestyle of those locales.


I had the fortune of actually going to Miami and Ibiza this past year. And yes, Miami (some of it) is definitely a star studded, glamorous strip with great restaurants and beautiful beaches...


But, what's the deal with Ibiza? I mean from the postcards and Venga Boy propaganda it seems like a Mediterranean paradise...


... up close, it's nothing like the above picture. The beaches aren't pretty; they're course, filthy and littered with sea plants & cigarette butts!


The hotels are archaic, the streets smell like vomit & urine, and it felt like I went back in time by 30 years. The clubs are weak and the island is pretty much poverty stricken.

I should've known the island sucked when our airpor cab was doing her nails while driving. Fock!

If you're from a small Bratislavan town, maybe the trashy disco-tech appeal is the greatest thing since voting, but for me, you'll NEVER catch me there again.

Do Vegas. Do Miami. Do a winery tour in Kazakhstan!

Just don't go to Ibiza,

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Happy New Year

Happy New Year britches!


In order to distract you from the fact that I have not blogged in 1.5 years here's a pretty cool select compilation of my 2010 Facebook statuses:


Awesome? Yes. Build your own at My Year in Status

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G.I Nooooooooooo!

I've seen some pretty bad movies, but GI Joe takes the cake.


Even though my ticket was paid for -- with two slices of pizza, popcorn, nachos and two drinks at a theatre across the street from my condo -- when the credits rolled, I *STILL* felt ripped off.

GI Joe was complete with terrible acting, an equally awful storyline, and clearly green-screened sets; not to mention CG worse than Dune 2!!!

If it weren't for Sienna Miller (I love her) and Rachel Nichols (I also love her) this movie would score a 0 out of 10. Instead it receives a 0.5 out of 10. Good work ladies, good work!

Here is a list of things I'd rather do than watch GI Joe again:

- Praying the rosary... all mysteries... while kneeling... on rice...
- Volunteering with H1N1 infected lepers in Mexico City
- Having lunch with Ben Stein
- Eating hardcore Indian food in my new car with the windows rolled up
- Shot gunning cans of Vienna sausages and chasing with warm cans of Red Bull



Above: Sienna Miller. "Hola Senorita!!!"

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Do I look Korean to you?

On Sunday, Y E Yang came from behind to beat Tiger Woods for the 2009 PGA Championship. Coincidentally, a couple of the guys and I hit the local driving range.



We step into the proshop, and an older gentleman behind the counter points to my Philipino friend: "You, you're Korean! You guys won today!"

Chin: "Nah, I'm not Korean?"
Old man: "You're not Korean? You're not Korean? What are you?"
Chin: "I'm Philipino"
Old man: "What's the difference? You people won!"

Maybe I'm a jerk, but I found that hilarious. Remind's me of Chappelle's bit on Do I look Chinese?


What wasn't hilarious was Chin's intentional lack of taping my Ryan Howard golf swing:





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From Dusk 'til Dawn

There aren't many Saturday nights that I find myself at home alone. This past Saturday was no different. The options? Dinner with a smoking hot model-type girl and/or hitting a trendy downtown lounge with friends.


After getting dressed sooner than expected, I found myself with an hour to kill. It was the perfect time to test out my new super computer!


I recently moved from a Mesozoic Era Pentium 4 to an 8 GB Quad Core system complete with SLI'd video cards. Overkill for e-mail, Facebook and YouTube -- however, not all was a waste -- I did by a game, Red Alert 3:






I have been a huge RTS gamer since a bunch of Russian mobsters intro'd me to Red Alert back in 1997, although I haven't put in any serious gaming hours since 2003. Why?


When I play RTS games, I get completely immersed.

Nothing else matters. Not even my GGR636 exam. Yeah, that's right -- I skipped the exam to defend the Western Hemisphere from commie bastards. What's wrong with that? Nothing according to $45 and a medical certificate signed by my doctor. Plus it was an elective, and only Geography. Who majors in Geography? Really?


But that was then and this is now. The difference between 2003 and 2009 is that I'm 30 years old. I am officially an adult. I have will power.

I installed the game at 9pm and gave myself a time limit of forty-five minutes. And that's what I did.


WOW is all I can say! Games have come a LONG way from where they were in 2003. The shading, the special effects, and the explosions. I was literally blown away!


Time ran out quickly and it was time to meet up with my friend for dinner. I shut down my PC, and left my den to grab my phone...


... before I even made it to my phone, it hit me: Sunlight.


The forty-five minutes that I spent playing was actually 9.5 hours!!!

And the worst part? My cell was on silent so I had SEVERAL missed calls. Ugh! I've never gone a gaming rampage like this. Now I know how kids in Asia keep dying from lack of sleep due to RTS games.

Not all was lost though. At least the Emperor's Floating Battle fortress was mucled by my relentless fleet of Vindicators. Kane, I'm coming for you next.





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District 9

Saw District 9 tonight. It was unlike *anything* that I have ever seen before! Incredible.



... go to the theatre, pay and watch this. It won't disappoint!

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Stalkerific!

Was on MSN earlier tonight. This convo made me laugh:



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Jumping, jumping...

Aren't jumping pictures fun?



Found this picture over the weekend. Needless to say it was taken by Reflecting Pool in Washington DC. Former president G-Dubb was surely rolling in his tomb.

Lincoln? He was probably thinking that Lex always gets great hang time. Chin is showing off his belly. I'm uselessly flapping my wings, while Air Jordan is simply Air Jordan. Ahhh, good old Linky.

Speaking of monument desecration, this picture reminds me of this picture. Geez, I can't take these guys ANYWHERE.

Anyhow, karma has attacked. I'm dying from a migraine. Back to bed for me! Love me or hate me, send me an email.

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Human Ring Toss

Ever run into a girl wearing a tiara with a rubber penis stuck to it? I did, last night.

She was like a sex toy unicorn princess. Thankfully -- for her -- it was her bachelorette party. Her friends forced her into wearing the hideous headpiece.

While most of the bar's male dirtbag clientelle made crued and generally "stupid-guy" comments, I used my charm. Moments later, voila.

I had magically acquired glow-in-the-dark-bracelets and had the girl on her knees. She had become a human ring toss game. See video:



It's a shame I didn't have my real camera with me. Oh well, you get the point. I'm a jerk.

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Refuse to lose...

Yes, it's March 21st -- however -- the Christmas lights will stay up and stay on. They have been running straight since November 2008.



Out of four segments of lights, the above is the only set that still illuminates. Conserve energy? Uhhh, no.

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Soulja Boy's number?

In Soulja Boy's new song, Kiss me through the Phone, he tells his girl to call him at six-seven-eight-triple-nine-eight-two-one-two.



The song is super catchy and has seen heavy rotation in RSXXXY. Needless to say, 678-999-8212 has engraved in my mind. Could it really Soulja Boy's number? Hmmm.

I did some research and the area code 678 is a real area code assigned to Atlanta and suburbs. Ironically DeAndre Ramone Way (aka Soulja Boy Tell 'Em) is from ATL.

Coincidence? I think not.

I had to find out.

So I called...

... words cannot explain how stupid I felt, when some random answered the phone "No, I am not Soulja Boy!"

Now you know why movies use the 555 prefix in numbers shown on-screen. Otherwise, you'd have thousands of idiots (including myself) writing down numbers, going home and dialing:

"Hi can I speak to Indiana Jones?"

At least I'm not the only one. I took great consolation in the these Yahoo! Answer questions.

Ugh, terrible...


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Lending a helping hand...

Never call me for help, especially if your name is Ruby and your car happened to die across the street from my place, as in I can see you from my balcony!

If so, you will become a video blog entry...



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