Oh Punk

Mmm Crab juice...

Simpson's nerds everywhere remember the epsiode when a very hungry Homer was in NYC getting street meat -- khlav kalash -- from a vendor outside the World Trade Centre. When he asked for a drink, the vendor replied "I only have Mountain Dew and Crab Juice."

Homer winced, "Ewwwww, I'll take a Crab Juice!"

If you think the thought of Crab Juice sounds slightly outrageous think again Cha-chee. Your local grocery store carries Clamato. Now although it's nothing revoloutionary, the ingredients to this disgusting concoction are predominately Clam Juice and Tomatoes. (Yes, you read correct: CLAM JUICE... what'd you think the CLAM in Clamato stood for? Chlamydia?)

Now my big question is: What kind of freak decided to mix Clam juice and Tomato Juice together -- and more importantly why? Who drinks Clam juice. Sure, clams are delicious, but so is Tuna. You don't see me drinking Tuna juice.

"Clam juice, clam juice, I love clam juice. Mmmm.. I sure love this Clam juice, but you know what it's missing. Tomato!"

Gross!!

Sure the inventor is now probably walking around saying "I'm rich bitch" but... I'm more than certain that she's still a fish monger, and she looks like this...

TH! - That's hot!

There are 2 comments:



At 6:59 AM, Anonymous Mowog said...

Actually, my local grocery doesn't sell clam juice, although it does sell a cornucopia of fish, shellfish, multi-hued pastel mixtures of fish innards in jars, and occasional crustaceans. That said, I've enjoyed quite a bit of crab in Japan (real crab, not the fake crab sticks), but I always pass on the kani miso, crab brains that have the consistency of gelled diarrhea with color to match. I assume that actual diarrhea has more taste.

When I lived in Hokkaido, crab was pretty cheap. The Russians who came into Otaru on the ferry from Khabarovsk or Vladivostok often sold crabs. My students from that area said they also sold guns, drugs, and sexual services, though I cannot verify anything beyond the Russians being generally gregarious; they also wear the stereotypical big bear hats in winter.

 
At 3:20 PM, Anonymous Shaun said...

Wow - no clam juice in your grocery store eh? Interesting. If you're really interested I will send you a bottle -- not really that great, but apparently people rave on about it.

As for crab, I've certainly got your back on that one! Crab is delicious. I love crab -- it's too bad there's so much work involved in eating them (delicious though!)

And the Russians in bear-hats? That's AWESOME. You really need to post some pics of that! Ha.

 

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