Oh Punk

Look who's on the cover of Oprah!

Guess who's on the cover of the Oprah Magazine this month? It's Oprah -- Mother f**king -- Winfrey! What a shocker. Who would've guessed? Not me!

Only Oprah could put her ass on the cover of every issue ever published. It's almost as egotistical as naming her production comapny Harpo -- that's Oprah spelled backwards (for all the dummies out there). It's too bad her name wasn't Naomi though. Spell it backwards and you get... "I moan"

Regardless, I still give her props for having Tom Cruise on her show. Now don't get me wrong, I am clearly not a Tom Cruise fan boy.

I think he's one creepiest scientologists around; which one isn't though? He probably spends his free time holding hands with John Travolta, flying on private his jet singing classic alien songs "Ohh look at us. We're flying to the promised land..."

Anyhow, Tom Cruise was on Oprah a few months back -- his mothership flipped on the the switch -- and he just went crazy. He was jumping on sofas and flying all over the place -- it was as if Hale Bopp was in the house. Hale Bopp, holla at your boy!

Take a look at THIS VIDEO -- highlights of Tom Cruise on Oprah!

What really bothers me, is that all the women in the audience were acting worse than a bunch of 12 year olds at an N'Sync concert. Why? He's f*cking crazy. Not crazy; scientologist crazy!

If I saw my girl, Giselle, doing that stuff like that, I'd be out the door faster than you can say Anvisol.

Plus, haven't people seen how Tom Cruise reacted when he was squirted in the face with a water gun? Ahhhh... if you haven't, welcome back from the caves: Tom Cruise freaking out after being squirted by a water gun

"Do you like doing mean things to people? You should be ashamed of yourself!" -- take that Last Samurai. Go back to Endor, or whatever planet you came from you freak...

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