Anime, you make me SICK!
What's worse than Star Trek nerds, World of War Craft geeks and Jedi lovers combined?
What's anime you may ask? Well, strap on your time-machine caps, and let's take a step back in time to the 1980's. If you're old enough, you'll remember the show Astroboy.
It was an extreme 'crappy' Japanimated series about a topless boy robot, who would save his city from evil space monsters and robots.
Back then, cable had yet to be invented in my neck of the woods, so I had no choice but to watch this crap. But even as a toddler, I knew this shit was 'tres gay' -- I loved whenever Astroboy was smashed to pieces, those would always be great episodes.
Till today I still have much hate for Astroboy and his followers. I occasionally will see hipsters carrying around Astroboy lunch boxes. Fuck -- you guys are grown adults! It is not cool or cute to be rocking those. Maybe you should consider doing something productive like getting a job and/or car, instead of riding around on your 1981 ten-speed bikes carrying Astroboy lunch boxes. I swear. The next male that I see doing this, I will stop my car and bitch slap him. I don't care. I'll do it. Watch me...
Alright, so I veered off topic. The point of my rant was Astroboy was a rudiment of Anime. And during the time since Astroboy first debuted and now, this form of animation has blown up into all sorts of genres. Anime is all the rage amongst the heaviest of chat-room internet lurkers and societal rejects.
These crudely drawn, bubbly pieces of drawing account for billions of dollars in revenue from television broadcasts, movies, DVDs, comic books known as manga, and more! Fans even dress up as their favourite anime characters and attend huge conferences.
How is this possible? How did we as a society let this pathetic form of art become so popular? Has anyone with half a brain ever watched these pieces of junk? Really? I'm sorry, but how can you be capitaved by some blue haired freaks crying a literal stream of tears or fighting spaceships with some sort of sword? Swords vs. spaceships? I don't think so... Whatever freaks! Whatever!
And the worst part is that they actually make pornographic anime for those super lonely despearate men out there! Ugh! Really porn isn't good enough? You have to look at this? (Note, the last link posted, is NOT work friendly)
Anime is just whack! There is so much that, I'd rather do than watch anime. For instance:
- Make-out with Pink (gross)
- Clean my toilets
- Clean YOUR toilets
- Watch the Gilmore Girls season one... in Spanish!
- Breakdance to Afrika Bambaataa: Planet Rock
And that's that. Anime sucks! And it's proved by it's legions of followers as seen here -- there you go ladies, a fine selection of single men for you (How do I know they're single? How could I not? DOS4GW.EXE for LIFE!!!)
On a final note... while kicking it in a hotel, I dropped something about "Anime sucking" in front of a group of friends.
My friend, a somewhat of an anime fan says: "Whatever, Anime writers are modern day philosophers..."
And to that I said: "Yeah, this may be true, but anime writers are also modern day virgins..."
I thought so.
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