Oh Punk

Anime, you make me SICK!

What's worse than Star Trek nerds, World of War Craft geeks and Jedi lovers combined?

ANIME nerds!

What's anime you may ask? Well, strap on your time-machine caps, and let's take a step back in time to the 1980's. If you're old enough, you'll remember the show Astroboy.

It was an extreme 'crappy' Japanimated series about a topless boy robot, who would save his city from evil space monsters and robots.

Back then, cable had yet to be invented in my neck of the woods, so I had no choice but to watch this crap. But even as a toddler, I knew this shit was 'tres gay' -- I loved whenever Astroboy was smashed to pieces, those would always be great episodes.

Till today I still have much hate for Astroboy and his followers. I occasionally will see hipsters carrying around Astroboy lunch boxes. Fuck -- you guys are grown adults! It is not cool or cute to be rocking those. Maybe you should consider doing something productive like getting a job and/or car, instead of riding around on your 1981 ten-speed bikes carrying Astroboy lunch boxes. I swear. The next male that I see doing this, I will stop my car and bitch slap him. I don't care. I'll do it. Watch me...

Alright, so I veered off topic. The point of my rant was Astroboy was a rudiment of Anime. And during the time since Astroboy first debuted and now, this form of animation has blown up into all sorts of genres. Anime is all the rage amongst the heaviest of chat-room internet lurkers and societal rejects.

These crudely drawn, bubbly pieces of drawing account for billions of dollars in revenue from television broadcasts, movies, DVDs, comic books known as manga, and more! Fans even dress up as their favourite anime characters and attend huge conferences.

How is this possible? How did we as a society let this pathetic form of art become so popular? Has anyone with half a brain ever watched these pieces of junk? Really? I'm sorry, but how can you be capitaved by some blue haired freaks crying a literal stream of tears or fighting spaceships with some sort of sword? Swords vs. spaceships? I don't think so... Whatever freaks! Whatever!

And the worst part is that they actually make pornographic anime for those super lonely despearate men out there! Ugh! Really porn isn't good enough? You have to look at this? (Note, the last link posted, is NOT work friendly)

Anime is just whack! There is so much that, I'd rather do than watch anime. For instance:

- Make-out with Pink (gross)
- Clean my toilets
- Clean YOUR toilets
- Watch the Gilmore Girls season one... in Spanish!
- Breakdance to Afrika Bambaataa: Planet Rock

And that's that. Anime sucks! And it's proved by it's legions of followers as seen here -- there you go ladies, a fine selection of single men for you (How do I know they're single? How could I not? DOS4GW.EXE for LIFE!!!)

On a final note... while kicking it in a hotel, I dropped something about "Anime sucking" in front of a group of friends.

My friend, a somewhat of an anime fan says: "Whatever, Anime writers are modern day philosophers..."

And to that I said: "Yeah, this may be true, but anime writers are also modern day virgins..."

Anyone disagree?

I thought so.

There are 12 comments:

At 9:18 AM, Anonymous Dave said...

But of course, you're.....a.....girl! Geekz rule!

At 12:31 PM, Anonymous Shaun said...

wtf? Are you on crack? Geeks rule nothing but World of Warcraft and that's about it.

At 2:44 AM, Anonymous Astroboy said...

Um...ok you can start cleaning our toilets now! ^^

At 12:38 PM, Anonymous FRQSTR=19043484|19043484|19043484|19043484|19043484 said...

Hey f@cker. It's sci-fiction writers not anime writers. And yes they get laid....alot more than you.

At 12:41 PM, Anonymous Jdarkly said...

Hey f*cker. It's science fictions writers not anime writers and yes they do get laid more than you. If you ever read a book you would know that but I guess your idea of getting laid is watching internet porn and jerkin' off.

At 11:32 AM, Anonymous USELESS MAN said...

I love my animation. i have friends who work on big animated movies and #1 animated TV shows. BUT when I see Anime nerds and their Anime freaky ideas, I want to shout: "IT'S A FREAKIN' CARTOON! Move along!"

At 5:12 AM, Anonymous Shaun said...

John - I'm going to fucking beat you up the next time I see you. Science fiction writers.. anime.. it's all the same ain't it? It all comes down to photo-star7.

And who do they get laid by? Little boys with super sayain hair? Exactly! Fucking ninjas!

re: useless man -- I hear ya buddy.. it's a cartoon! some of them want to get married to the "cartoons"

At 5:13 AM, Anonymous Shaun said...

re: porn and j-o.

war porn
war j-o
war photostar 7

At 9:49 PM, Anonymous Sexierthanyou said...

You sir, have no life! Hahah you have been out numbered XD

At 1:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At 4:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

OH GEEZ! You're nice!

You basically just said everything about people who are OBSESSED with anime.
I love anime, but I'm not obsessed with it like some people are. I find that your blog is just to post hate about something you don't find interesting, or you're a closeted anime fan!
Stop being an ass and get a life!

At 10:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude...I'm a girl who loves anime. There are many girls who love anime. And GUESS WHAT?! Majority of us are actually attractive. Not to sound arrogant but me included. For the record their are hot guys who like anime and hot girls. Too bad assholes like you will never get any of those girls. Have fun with the girls your probably into (I'd assume they are obviously mindless sluts from the ignorant and arrogant way you act. You don't have to like anime, us anime fans don't give a shit if you like it, but DON'T EVER insult us. Understood? Nah of course you didn't. Arrogant pick -_-"


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