Oh Punk

Cash For Life

Yesterday evening, I went to pay my respects to a friend's aunt who recently passed away. She had been ill for quite a while, and the family was well prepared for this day.

After saying a short little prayer for the deceased and the family, I sat with our friends -- including her husband, Al. Among the group was their little cousins. Both twins, aged 12 - one a girl. One a boy.

The boy, Ron, goes: "So this is the guy?"

Al: "Yup..."

Ron (to me): "So is it true you won the cash for life lottery?" (Cash For Life = a $4.00 scratch-and-win instant lottery in which the top prize is $1000, tax-free, per week for life)

Me: "What? No! What are you talking about?"

Ron: "I heard, your friends, inlcuding Al, each gave you $1.00 to play the Cash for Life lottery. And I heard you won. And kept all the money."

Me: "No way, that's not true."

Richelle (the girl): "Yes it is! He's selfish. Look at you. You're wearing this jacket from Harry Rosen. Look at your watch. Look at this... blah blah blah blah..." it went on all night.

Al has been punking me since last year -- when four of us pooled $4.00 to buy a Cash-for-Life ticket. I in turn went and purchased the Cash-for-Life ticket, but it turned out to be a dud. No one thought twice about it until I announced that I had purchased a new condo, and very shortly after a new Acura and whole bunch of other new glitzy things.

They immediately jumped back in time and decisively concluded that Cash-for-Life ticket that I had purchased was in fact a winner. So since then it's been "Yo, where's our money?" -- "Yo, Shaun, you get your $1000 this week? You picking up the tab for dinner?"

What impresses me, is that he told his wife's little cousins that "this guy" (me) had stolen his dollar, won a lottery and refuses to share. And that they have it programmed into their brains now. Ahh the advanced art of punkage, truly impressive.

Not only do I find this to be ingenious, but I find it quite hilarious.

Especially because these two kids were so feverent about it -- all night -- at a funeral home of all places. To end this post on a much pleasant note, we all left the funeral home together and had a fabulous dinner at some upscale Irish Mafia place. The highlight of the night was definitely the loud older-blonde woman in an itty-bitty halter top (fake boobs and all) that stumbled drunk through the pub - several times. None of us guys seemed to complain. I didn't.

Anyway, I just bought $1,000 worth of salmon. Better put it away in the freezer before it goes to waste.

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