Oh Punk

Evil Shaunevil is in the house!

This weekend, I'm proving everyone wrong, EVERYONE!

Ever since I've moved into my new place, my talk of throwing a baseball from my balcony onto the roof of the office building across the street has been ridiculed. Due to the possibility of me going over the edge of my glass balcony while throwing a ball, I've decided to no longer attempt my throw of a baseball.

Instead, I brought up the idea of sling-shotting a small rubber ball onto the roof of the building. Again, the idea was shot down.

"No way, it's impossible..."

"Can't be done Shaun..."

"You might hit the side of the building but it's not landing on the roof"

"Are you retarded?"

Well. Fuck all of y'all doubters. I did the math. An average street lane is 12.6 feet in width. The distance from the base of my building to that building is about 23 car lanes across (What? You actually thought I'd stand outside with a frigging yard stick measuring? Gimme a break. This is 2006 son. I'm fucking smart...

That works out to about 290 feet. Anyone know the distance from left field to home place on a baseball diamond? The field I played at as a kid was 300 feet. My slingshot should clear 300 feet with no problem!

To add heights into equations I'm on the 29th floor -- about 348 feet high -- shooting down onto a building that's probably about 200 feet lower than I am now. My shot should be about 145 feet higher than I am now (~500 feet) at about 145 feet out assuming I fired my shot at a 45 degree angle and that the shot had just enough energy to go the 290 feet.

For simplicity we won't tack on gravity, coefficient of drag, wind velocity, etc etc. Yes, yes, all those goodies. This ain't school!

See equation above, but please note, I botched a number on the left for all you math correcters out there so the trajectory shown beyond the 290 ft isn't correct or to scale (And if you're correcting my scribble of a equation that took me two seconds, you're lame... ) .. and all you high school / college drop out types who have no idea what an equation is, I didn't forget you guys: Click here, for something you can understand.

I got this one kids, I got this one.

How could I miss? Start placing your bets cuz I'm taking all your money! This is EASY... and for my next trick... ahh there's no next trick.. I've got a date! I'm out...

Above: The distance my "shot" must travel. Piece of cake!

There are 5 comments:

At 10:31 PM, Anonymous Lil Lex said...

You can't ignore air resistance, retard! also, you didn't account for how far back you're going to need to pull your slingshot in order to obtain the proper velocity.

Give it up!

At 6:29 PM, Anonymous Shaun said...

Whatever! You'll see! You just watch...

It's all going down like it's Chinatown...

Saturday son! Maybe Sunday... Imma gonna tape this event!

At 11:23 AM, Anonymous USELESS MAN said...



At 5:08 AM, Anonymous Shaun said...

Laugh. It'll probably be a video of my friends laughing at me when I miss :(

At 10:28 PM, Anonymous USELESS MAN said...

STILL.. they didn't create You Tube or Google Video for Shakespeare in the park. It was made for bouncing balls shot between buildings.

It's true. It's in their mission statement...


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