Oh Punk

Get NATO up in hurrrr, I started a wurrrr!

Now if you didn't go to my high schizzle, you certainly wouldn't remember back in the day when someone placed a huge sticker over my locker's combo lock. I retaliated the next day by unloading a roll of packing tape all over the lock of the attacker.

I was strutting around like I was all bad until one day during my period 2 chemistry class there was a knock on the door. The voice asks to speak to me. The teacher -- Ms. Gough, who I must say had awesome boobs (and we all appreciated her running by my house everyday afterschool in her skimpy gear) -- motions me to the door. The voice at the door informs me that my locker had been CEMENTED. Cemented? WTF?


10 years later, I'm running the same sort of antics. Whack? Indeed.

So as I stated in an earlier post, some chikita in my building keeps tattooing this "LOVE U SNUGIMS" tag all over the place. The elevators in my condo are still covered in a protective wood casing as construction folk are in and out of them throughout the day.

So whenever she gets a chance, she'll write "LOVE U SNUGIMS" in the elevator. Straight up, it's FUCKING annoying. I'm fairly confident that I know who she is. She's this tiny little asian number with a gangly gwai'lo boyfriend. I'm pretty sure -- because they look annoying, I mean they even wear matching clothes -- losers!

Anyway, instead of randomly spitting on both of them (which I should have done), I started a war. I printed up "HATE U SNUGIMS" posters and stuck them up in the elevators. Sure enough she ripped them down.

So with my own permanent marker I started a "HATE U SNUGIMS" campaign big enough to get Al Gore back in office (John Kerry, whatever...)

What's the idiot do? She takes her keys and scratches out "HATE" and replaces it with words so that it reads: "YOU KNOW U LOVE SNUGIMS"

What the hell?

How long did it take her ass to scratch all that marker out? Seriously?

Is she challenging me? Oh that makes my blood boil!!! I live in a building full of fairies, prisses, and poin-dexters, so none-of-them have the guts to do anything.

Only after I started my "HATE U SNUGIMS" campaign, did other haters unveil themselves (chickens!)

Anyway, so on my shopping travles I purchased a huge marker, with a head as big as my... well... yeah... it was a big tip.

In giant letters I managed to etch "BURN SNUGIMS AT THE STAKE" and "DEATH TO SNUGIMS" and "HATE U SNUGIMS"... each with an arrow pointing to the words "Try and scratch that out you fucking bitch!"


It was done all in vain. I jumped in the elevator yesterday only to notice, that they had removed the protective casing (the building is almost fuly finished now)! Darn! Kinda sucks, but the elevators are gorgeous, marble floors and all -- don't you wish your elevator was hot like mine.

Anyway, on my way down to work this morning, I seemed to have caught a ride on the last elevator with the protective wood casing. Miss Snugims bitch admitted defeat! My signage must have worked!

Yes. I hate that bitch. Shaun 1 - Snugims 0. Eat it...

Above: The bitch scratched out my writing!

Above: Snugims admist defeat in her lame printing. I hope she dies -- that's how much I HATE SNUGIMS.

Above: This has nothing to do with Snugims, but I'm happy to announce I finally got carpet and wallcoverings in the hallway outside my unit! (Had to end this sour post with something nice, right?)

There are 6 comments:

At 11:00 AM, Anonymous e-Karl said...

Anyway, so on my shopping travles I purchased a huge marker, with a head as big as my... well... yeah... it was a big tip.

I saw that marker on your desk at work... I guess with it being a Bic Fine Point, I should feel sorry for the women you date!


At 4:50 PM, Anonymous Shaun said...

That's my CD label marker! damn it -- hahah! Plus I'm trying to be like Tyrell Owens and carry a sharpie's marker in my sock! hahah haha

"Here's an autograph for you son!"

At 6:29 PM, Anonymous Rubes said...

Wicked your too funny crack the shit out of me hehe!

At 7:38 AM, Anonymous PRan said...

Nice blog...
Interesting to read.
Nice pics to...
Keep up the good work..

At 12:42 PM, Anonymous da ignorant know it all said...

this is a very interesting blogg, when you get a chance stop by my bloog and enjoy yourself. later


At 4:20 PM, Anonymous e-Karl said...

Red Rover Red Rover we call T.. O.. Over..

hmm.. wouldn't sound the same with your name Shaun... besides.. the Power stripe would own you.


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