Oh Punk

You wanna piece of me?

Karaoke night at your local neighbourhood bar is always a good time. You go, have a drink, see a few drunk people make fools of themselves, and eventually get dazzled by the occassional pro who comes to show of their vocal cords.

Well tonight, was slightly different. Some 45 year old gentleman -- obviously from a group of regulars -- goes up on stage to sing. All of a sudden he has an exchange of heated words with the karoke DJ, throws the microphone at her and walks away before she even queued up his song.

In retaliation, the karaoke DJ makes an announcement to the bar saying that "If people are going to come up, have hissy fits, and throw the equipment around, please participate."

The punkage - I love it!

Now the table of regulars did not like that ONE bit! Not at all! A lady in their group started heckling back at the DJ. The music was very loud, so I couldn't quite make out what she was saying, but I know she was cussing her out. Not classy by any means.

So the rest of the crowd in the bar starts booing and condeming the group of regulars. It was hilarious. Until, I heard some one yell "Get over it!"

Get over it? That amazed me! Someone else was yelling! Oh man, you knew I had to get in on that yelling. I couldn't resist. So from across the bar I yell: "SHUT UP YOU BITCH!!!"

Suddenly the *entire* bar goes silent.

Everyone looks in my direction.

There was a brief ackwardness amongst the bar, and suddenly a sea of murmurs.

Oh man, what did I start?

Apparently something! Her huband -- or whatever (the hissy fit man) -- saunters over to our table. It was completely something out an episode of Married with Children -- you know, whenever Al Bundy would go to the bar and just start fighting?

Here it CAME!

And this mofo was taller than me. Easily by six to eight inches, but he was skinny. I could take him. "Hey buddy, you should mind your own business. We already took care of this!"

He taps me on the back and walks away before I could say anything. What the hell was that? Fuck!

I honestly have been chaffing to get into a bar brawl for months! I would had this guy -- and if not, I could have always cheaped out and stabbed him with a fork... right? Hey nothing wrong with fighting dirty -- the US used nukes in WW2, right? Gotcha there bitches!

So that was that. Nothing transpired out of it. An hour later, the cranky cry-baby lady who I called a bitch went on stage. She was all smiles -- that is, until sheshe turned, looked and me and gave me this ULTRA DIRTY glare. Everyone around us was like "Ohhhhh!"

What a bitch! Maybe it was that chincy piece of fabric she was wearing, it looked like she Bedazzled that shit by herself!

I thought it would be funny to stand up, cheer and clap really loud when she was done -- but -- yeah, figured that would open another can of worms.

Anyhow, there's her picture, feel free to heckle. She's a regular. Sunday nights at Failte's in Mississauga, Ontario.

There are 6 comments:

At 8:02 AM, Anonymous chin said...

but what i want to know is:

what did YOU sing and what did you do to her during your song? did you give her a dirty look back? ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, dis guy!

At 6:37 PM, Anonymous Shaun said...

Dis indeed! *** I *** did NOT sing, and did NOT give her a dirty look back. Believe me, I would've liked to, but you know me and karaoke stages. Pass!

Now to deflect this punkage I must say that Jon says "Anime artists the modern day philosophers!" To that I say, "They are also the modern day virgins!"

Ahh Jon...

At 9:20 PM, Anonymous chin said...

you should try singing karaoke. its fun!

At 9:30 PM, Anonymous Shaun said...

Sorry.. we all know my stance on that stuff!

At 9:27 AM, Anonymous Elle said...

You are really funny - what a great post - thanks for making my Wed morning.

At 12:32 PM, Anonymous Shaun said...

Aww thanks! Tell your friends.. I'm launching this site officially fairly soon :)


Post a Comment

Return to main page