Oh Punk

Adventures in Biking, Part 1 : Fire in the hole!

Sunday was absolutely gorgeous! What better a day to break out the bikes and cruise around the city?

The last time I went biking, my friends and I spent a good portion of our time trying to find our bearings while lost in the thick brush of a forest.

Adventure seems to always follow us, and Sunday was no different. The most outrageous thing that happened? Well...

A while back a friend, incidentally a fire fighter, had set me up with a few fireman t-shirts. Not only were they comfortable and nice looking, they were great for picking up random cougars (we all know old women love uniformed EMS types -- apparently eBusiness Sales for a Fortune 500 doesn't quite cut it...)

Anyhow, I threw on one of the shirts and went biking with the boys. At one point through our biking mission we decided to cut through a community park / trail. It was a scenic, tree-lined run that was centered around a river bounded by trails on each side.

About halfway through the ride, the reflector on my bike began shaking wildy. I stopped. My friends continued to bike, and disappeared in the distance. As I removed the reflector from the housing, I heard an odd sound: the unrefined grunting of a loud diesel engine. I looked up, and noticed a large fire engine come to a stop on the trail across the river.

The passengers jumped out and ran to the edge of the river.

"Hey you!" they shouted. "What are you doing? We want to talk to you! Did you find it?"
I didn't respond -- I could smell something burning. I already looked suspicious enough standing by myself, with some burning smell in the air. I ain't getting pinned for no arson!

Another shouted "Hey, come here. Stop messing around we need your help! Did you find the fire?"

I walked closer. "What fire?" I said, "It's probably just a BBQ."

The leader of the group piped up, "There was a report of the a fire around here... sid you see anything?"

"Nah, I just biked from that way..." didn't see anything.

"Alright, well we're going to continue on the trail. We'll see you up ahead. What station are you with anyway?"
At that point, I realized I was wearing my 'fireman' shirt. Oh snap! The thought I was one of them. Funny...

"I'm actually not a firefighter. I'm in sales..."

The fire fighters looked at me in SHOCK. SHOCK son, SHOCK!

I just hopped on my my bike and pedalled away. I grabbed my cell phone and called my friends, "Where y'all at?" -- My friend: "We're watching some fire from a bridge!" -- Me: "Oh really? I just got pulled over by some firefighters who thought I was a fire fighter. I guess that's the fire they were looking for, I'll find you guys, wait up for me..."

Now instead of pedalling back and telling the firefighters that the fire was up ahead, I just continued on my way. A few moments later I could see the billowing smoke up ahead.

Turns out it was just a brush fire, but there was quite the crowd surrounding the blaze. I pulled up, and I could see people looking at me, in my firefighter shirt talking on my cellphone.

I could hear the "Oh here comes help," and the "He must be calling the fire truck" comments.


Some kids came and stood beside me, as I pulled out my digital camera. I took a few pictures, while people looked on. I then hopped back and start pedalling away. People gave me this weird look.

A kid asked me what I was going to do about the fire... of course I responded "Sorry kid, you're on your own!" and pedalled to my friends. I will never forget the kid's face. It looked as if what I said was the craziest thing he had every heard.

A few minutes later the guys in the fire truck finally showed up. As they walked by I said 'Hey guys, I found that fire" in a smart-ass tone.

The old guy muttered back "Good job. I'll put in a word with the chief!"

Ahh the punkage. And in case you think I'm making this story up:

Above: The firetruck across from the river...

Above: The fire blazes on... How could the fire fighers *NOT* find this. Simply, look up -- oh there's the smoke. Then follow. *Rolls eyes*

Above: "Hey, where are you going? There's a fire to put out! Come back here!"

Overall, it a good season opener for Biking 2006, here are a few other pictures:

Above: We're a bunch of mis-matches, and the same applies to our bikes. A.I brought out his fancy-boy trendy coaster bike. So trendy, some guy in a Dodge Charger honked on the horn and yelled "Nice bike fag!" -- hilarious! Sorry A.I, you were owned!

Above: Random trail shot

Above: Progress! And of course my building in the distance

Above: As gross as it sounds, little Aloe water is the perfect refreshment -- water, sugar and bits of crunchy Aloe gelatinous plant -- DELICIOUS! Them Koreanos sure are whacky, but their drink is off the hook! Try it...

Above: Don't even ask, but fuck jet skis. I plan on stealing this mo'fo next week

Above: The lovely, now less poluted than 1986, Lake Ontario

Above: Most people would turn back and find another safer way to cross a highway than this secluded urine stinking pedestrian (read: crackhead) underpass. Not us...

Above: Just a train.. but.. I'm sure there were some hobos on it. And that's what makes it special. I wonder if that had a stick, with a pokadot bag tied to the end? Hmm...

Above: Yes! The perfect place to hold my manual labour contest. A Chinese grocery store. It'll be awesome. I can't wait to apply. I'm serious. I don't know what minimum wage is, but I don't care -- "Boss, I'm only working here to win a contest..."

Above: What's a bike ride without a little BNE (Break and Enter) into construction site. Turned out there were 8 cop cars around the place we wanted to sneak into, so nothing transpired. Damn you cops! Next time!

There are 2 comments:

At 12:41 PM, Anonymous Blondie said...

Alright, so I've read a number of posts now, a couple about Montreal, one about Toronto, one about New York and have no idea even what COUNTRY you are from!!!!!!!!!!!!

At 3:23 PM, Anonymous Shaun said...

*grin* I havne't updated my site with my personal information but I'm from the Toronto, Ontario, Canada area!:)


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