Oh Punk

I want my Yellow Belt!

It's a known fact that I don't get my hair cut in a barbershop, but rather a hair cutting place -- a place some of my friends seem to fondly refer to as a salon! Psssh, a salon? Me?

Alright, alright -- it is, a salon... But this salon is well priced (still pricier than your run of the mill barber) and the staff is wholely composed of hot, fit and young eastern european girls walking around with exposed midriffs and low cut tops! Why would you wanna get your hair cut by Fat Tony with his collection of 1984 National Geographics? Who's gay now mother fu.....

Anyhow, the old mop was in dire need of a trimming, so I popped in to the salon unannounced. The normally buzzing studio, was dead. All the pretty girlies were MIA. The scattered few that were there were busy with customers!

The older lady who owns the place was more than happy to cut my hair. Let me tell you -- not that it matters (of course) -- but she doesn't look like any of the staff. She's more like a 3 in 1. Nothing wrong with that (of course), except when she's cutting your hair beside you and her stomach slowly creeps, hangs and folds over the arm of the chair and brushes against your body! UGH!

I tried pullling my arms in really close to my body to get away, but her stomach was unstoppable like hot, molten lava. Fuck! It just kept rolling, rolling, roling... *shudder* *gross* It was like Buddah himself mystically appeared to give me a fade!

Thank God, for the copy of US Weekly, that I managed to grab before jumping on the chair. I quickly pulled the plug on my "Oh so it's going to rain this weekend" generic convo, and started flipping through the pages of the tabloid. Anything to get my mind of this unsolicitated roll massage (yes, with the rolls of fat on her stomach!)

After the usual "Tom Cruise is crazy" and "Brangelina aka Unicef are spotted in Modovia", I stumbled upon a pics of Kimora Lee, recent ex-wife of hip-hop mogul, Russell Simmons (not to be confused with Richard). Now, I never ever liked her previously, but after looking at a few of her pictures: Good lord. Hot!

I think I want my yellow belt. I mean, I've got almost all of the others, why not complete the set?

The real question here is, if I already have my yellow belt with white stripe, can I just get another yellow belt with white stripe and combine the two to count as a yellow belt?

If such is the case, Maggie Q -- of Mission Impossible 3 fame -- will do just fine. She's dyn-o-mite!

... and for those of you offended by this post at least you learned something about us guys! See?

There are 4 comments:

At 9:02 AM, Anonymous Lil Lex said...

Maggie Q is delicious

At 4:13 PM, Anonymous Chin said...

you might have "almost all the other" belts, but you still need to catch up with ai.

"Ive had all the flavors of the world" - anthony pasalic, 2001 (or something)


At 5:10 PM, Anonymous Shaun said...

Yes she's also had sex in the "last 6" hours, and in more recent times when calling him around 5:30pm-ish, I've gotten teh "dude, I'm proking a girl" line..

So yes. I guess lots of catching up to go!

At 9:49 PM, Anonymous Robin said...

Creepiesy Hair Cut I've read about for a while!

Good thing she didn't try to get a date with you for a 'free haircut'....lol.


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