Oh Punk

Priority Uno: I can't wait to get married!

I can't wait to get married. Not because I would have found my true love, but because I have finally found a PERFECT way to solve conflict in relationships.

You know how couples continaully fight about who has to clean the bathroom this week, or who has to cook dinner tonight, or who has to take out the trash tomorrow morning?

Blah! Well fight no more. All these simple conflicts can be solved with a quick game of Uno. Do any of ya'll remember this game? I've been playing it lately, it's so wicked. The rules are simple:

Each player is dealt 7 cards with the remaining ones placed face down to form a "draw" pile. The top card of the draw pile is turned over to begin a "discard" pile. The first player has to match the card in the discard pile either by number, color or word. For example, if the card is a red 7, player must throw down a red card or any color 7. Or the player can throw down a Wild Card. If the player doesn't have anything to match, he must pick a card from the draw pile. If he can play what is drawn, great. Otherwise play moves to the next person. When you have one card left, you must yell "UNO" (meaning one). Failure to do this results in you having to pick two cards from the draw pile. That is, of course if you get caught by the other players. Once a player has no cards left, the hand is over. Points are scored and you start over again.

Oh man, I can't wait until my wife drops a "Sorry honey, it's your turn to mop the floors this week!"

Me: This week? What the hell? *breaks out UNO deck* *looks at wife, deals cards*
Wife: Not again, Shaun
Me: Just pick up your cards, let's hurry up and get this over with..
Wife: You're on...

A few seconds later, I'd yell "UNO" and wifey would be mopping the floors. No Swiffer Wet Jet here kids, just hands and knees. Hands and knees.

Little did she know she married the undisputed UNO Champion of the Universe. Think ya'll can beat me? Laugh. Not likely.

There are 2 comments:

At 10:07 PM, Anonymous O D B said...

ahhh...the scent of weddings in the air i couldn't help but think back to strip "skip-bo" a fun game to play with another pre-marriage couple, all that you need to do is uncork your favourite bottle of alcohol fuled libation and let the real games begin......."skip-bo" you lose again.....off with your top!! ....
the perfect way to see your best friends future wife fully exposed

At 11:16 AM, Anonymous Shaun said...

Ahhh you're right.. strip skip-bo is where it's at. As long as you're good, you can get all you female friends naked! Awesome!

You should document your winnings with your digital camera though! lol


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