Oh Punk

Someone call the HR police!

Even though I'm NOT looking for a job, internet job boards are very interesting! If you have ever signed up for a service such as Monster or Workopolis, you more than likely have been SWAMPED with job offers from various companies and agencies alike. For the most part, the recruitment head hunters do a great job. They tend to find jobs that match your skill levels / experience and will call or email you accordingly.

But once in a while you will get a random spammer idiot, who will forward you anything that doesn't even remotely match your skills. Take this beauty of a job offer:

From: "Reeve, Rebecca"
Subject: French - English Call Centre Opportunity
Date: Mon, 12 Jun 2006 15:17:58 -0400

I would like to sincerely apologize if you have previously received a copy of this e-mail or if this message does not pertain to you directly. Aerotek is looking to fill an immediate opening for French/English Customer Service Representatives.

Bilingual Customer Service Representative

Aerotek Professional Services is looking for Bilingual Customer Service Representatives. Our client is a large Financial institution located in North York and are looking for individuals who are fluent in both English and French, to join their Collections department.

Successful candidates will have to following qualifications:

- Fluent in both English and French
- Have at least 2 years call centre experience
- Have previous experience using both languages in a professional setting
- Previous customer service experience
- Previous experience in collections an asset

This position is a full-time position. Candidates must be flexible to work between the hours of 8am to 9 pm Monday thru Friday and 8am to 4pm Saturdays.

A collections agency? 6 years of post-secondary schooling (ok, 1 year was a university suspension) and this is the respect I get? Now many people would just delete the email and think nothing about it. But it bothered me. How could I even be qualified to work in a frigging $8/hour collection agency call centre. Really? I'm not full of myself, but I have some pride -- even if it only was a random email. So I crafted this response:

You sent me a job offer for a customer service call centre? Really? I went to university you know.

Well that doesn't matter. You're in luck! Le bon chance c'est ici (billingual! Yes! Lookat that!) You've found your perfect hire. I'm actually willing to take a HUGE paycut. Who needs expensed lunches, phones and cars! Not me! My friends don't think I work hard enough so this is just a fabulous opportunity to prove them wrong. I can't wait to see the look on their faces! GOLD.

Work Work work. When do I start? And can I have a late shift or over-night shift if possible? And if people don't pay, can I go to their house with a baseball bat and break down the door like on that TLC show? You know. That repo-men one! Where they take people's trailers and cars away. Oh man. It's gonna be so awesome!

Anyway, so what do you look like? Rebecca is a pretty hot name...

She hasn't written back as of today, so I think it's time for a little follow up email!

There are 4 comments:

At 4:10 PM, Anonymous ellecharlie said...

When you ask her what she looks like at the end?... therein lies the subtle brilliance. I give it a 9.5 :)

At 6:14 PM, Anonymous Shaun said...

Why thank you!

Wait until you see what I write her as my follow up

At 2:45 PM, Anonymous Jeff in AZ said...

Bwuahahaha - loved the response. I'd go so far as to give it a "10".

At 12:21 PM, Anonymous Shaun said...


Thanks bruvfa!!


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