Oh Punk

Yum, yum, gimme some!

You know what's the best about living on your own? No - not the crazy nights of non-stop, uhhh .. yeah , playing Playstation 2; or even having two girls over and uhhh, .. yeah uhhh, cleaning windows. No, no, no, no, no!

It's eating RAVIOLI from a can. Is there anything more savage? I would have NEVER been able to run that kind of fine dining while living with my parents. I mean I've tried -- but it always came down to the whol "What? Are you in grade 1? Remember when you used to take that to school for lunch?" convo.

Well guess what? Now that I'm on my own, I buy the groceries (son)!

Needless to say I grabbed a couple cans on my last shopping excursion -- and Boy-oh-boy, was I ever excited! I didn't even unpack all of my REAL groceries. Melting icecream? Thawing meats? Who cares! I just ripped open the bag that contained the Chef-Boy-Ardee cans, opened the cans, and ate! DELICIOUS! (Imagine me with raviloi sauce everywhere!)

What really impressed me was that these tins of Ravioli now come with an even easier pull off tab! What will they think of next? Easy, simple, efficient. Back in the day, if you didn't have a can opener, you were out of luck! You'd be scrabling to find a large rock to smash it open. Smash it up! Mash it up!

Effective immediately, I'm going to try and run the gauntlet with canned pasta. And you all thought I was a pretentious, snob-ass, bitch. Wrong! I'm going to try them all! I can't wait to taste the world of watered down tomato sauce and rust! It's going to be great...

Alpha-ghetti, Zoo-ghetti, and even Smurf-a-ghetti. As Corciega once said, "Why the hell are they still making Smurf-a-ghetti. Kids today don't even know what Smurfs are! Some marketing exec back in the day must've said -- damn, these Smurfs are hot! Let's buy the exclusive rights to making tinned Smurf pasta for the next 50 years!"

Laugh. Oh well. Hello fatness. Bye bye any hopes for that washboard stomach...


Above: Why musta everythinga that's a gooda for you, tasta so bed? (If you don't remember that commercial, you are whack!)

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