Oh Punk

The Avian Flu and You

Apparently the following: pork ribs + beer + cheap rollercoaster ride isn't a good combination. For the past few days I've been terribly sick. Migraines, stomach aches and much much more.

While I was lying paralyzed in bed, I kept thinking that this can't be much worse than avian flu. It's funny how people are HORRIFIED about avian flu. Relax, it's now the HIV. Avian flu only kills the old and weak -- so if you're old and/or weak and you get the AV HN323, your ass is dead.

This reminded me of a time a few weeks ago while shopping at Walmart -- ugh, I know -- with a friend. While walking through the toy section, my friend starts coughing really loud.

"Shaun, do you think it's alright if I walk around in public without my mask" she said loud enough for a young teen boy to hear.

I looked over and gave her the look.

"No seriously Shaun, what do you think?"

I look over again.

"Don't you remember what Dr. Choi said? You're still contagious! Highly contagious. I've got my vaccination, but other people like this kid (I pointed to the kid -- who was now listening attentively) don't. Who knows, he might be infected because of your carelessness."

"I don't care what Dr. Choi said!" she screamed back. "He said most people with this form of avian flu usually can live up to two years before they die. Who cares! I'm not wearing that mask. I'm not a freak." (she started to cough very heavily)

"Well I tell you what. If 300 people get avian flu from you, and die.... I don't care... don't say I never told you, and I just walked away..."

The kid looked at me in terror as I walked away. I turned back to see his reaction, and he already RAN the other way down the aisle. My friend and I start laughing hilariously at what we had just made up.

.... anyhow, when it was time to check out at the cashier, guess who was in line in front of us? THE KID! He looked back at us in fright. My friend immediately started coughing and making disgusting groans, "I don't feel to well.. let's go home soon."

It was hilarious! His mother was on the phone completely ignoring him. The boy pulled his shirt over his mouth, moved all his things from the check-out conveyer belt away from us, turned his back to us and shielded their purchases with his body!

It was unbelieveably funny.

I love doing stupid things like that.

Stupid kid!

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