Oh Punk

My big, big fine!

I always laugh when I hear people complain about $40 library fines. "Oh my God, have to pay $40 for my late books. I can't believe this!"

Those people need to stop being selfish. I'm not saying I'm too good for $40, but when it comes to library fines - $40 is nothing. My fines are Donald Trump sized. Once you have fines like that, then you can talk.

A few months ago, in this post, I complained about how stratospheric my university library fines had gotten to be since I left school. In good faith, after years of keeping these useless books, I decided to return them to their rightful owners.

Instead of dealing with power-tripping library staff (sorry Alsion, it's true!), I jumped the totem pole and went straight to the head cheese. I looked up his number and gave him a call:

"Hi, how's it going? You see, I ahve these very over due library books and I would like to return them..."

The man spoke with a Caribbean accent and was very polite. While searching for my record, he made a few jokes about how busy things were and the talked about the weather... Just then I heard this LOUD gasp! I thought he had a heart attack.

He muttered "Oh my God! Your fines. Your fines. Your fines total $10,488!"

$10,488 in library fines? That's just insane.

He asked me if he could make a print out for his wall. I was honored, I said yes. Anyway, I'm going in to the univesity tomorrow to straighten out this mess. But $10,488 in library fines!!!

Let this be a lesson to y'all. Return your stuff on time, unless you can talk your way out of it.


There are 4 comments:

At 8:39 PM, Anonymous Blondie said...

Ha! I renewed my library card today (before registering for a while WHACK of courses) and pouted at the $3.00 outstanding on my account.

How about you just send that $10,000 my way?

At 11:42 PM, Anonymous Shaun said...

$10,000? Just like that? LOL - I'm never going to pay that. Are you kidding me? If I did, I'd steal one of their school vans and/or busses. That'll teach them!

At 8:37 AM, Anonymous Rubex_cube said...

WFT Shaun....everything always happens to you! hahah that is classic...can't wait to see a print out of that one :)

At 10:55 AM, Anonymous Shaun said...

I know crazy stuff happens -- wait till you hear what I said! I'm going to post the continuation later today:)


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