Oh Punk

0 to 20 in 2 hours: Speed Dating

The other night a couple of us guys went speed dating - just for fun, a night out! Ever done it before?

If not, imagine a closed off section of a bar where twenty women are seated at various stations. To begin each guy is required to sit with one woman at random. Every three minutes, a whistle is blown and us men rotate in clockwise sequence to the next station.

During your three minutes with woman y (I prefer using y as a variable) you have the oppourtunity to chat up her up. Once three minutes have expired, if she likes you she puts a tick down on her form indicating she'd like to see you again. Us guys do the same. By the end of the evening the hosts collect your forms, tally matual matches, and sends you your match's contact info.

Ingenious? Maybe. The only problem is you never know what type of women show up. To make things worse, you are stuck with all of them -- even the ones you don't like -- for three minutes.

Sure, being fake infront of customers is one thing -- but that's easy. Being fake infront of some woman, that is double your weight and has summer teeth (some are here, some are there) that's another thing.

"Oh, you don't have a job? That's nice, you're living the life!" Ugh!

There was also the programmer / comedian who crushed my hand while shaking it -- my friend says she could've taken me in a fight (I think he's right!).

And then there was big momma -- we won't even get into her. Damn girl.

As per usual, there were a few interesting ones, but all in all the crowd was actually decent - lots of nice people. I seemed to only click with a couple attendees, including "the I'm so pretty model chick" -- go figure.

The best incident of the night goes to my friend Chris. He sat with Ghost. Ghost, was this ghastly pale queit asian chick -- fucking Casper. She was straight up weird, and certainly fresh of the boat.

"Nice to meet you Chris. How are you enjoying this PLUMMETTING weather!"

Plummeting? Who the hell says plummetting? Laugh! Chris said "I'm sure she just signed up to practice her english on me!"



There are 4 comments:

At 4:27 PM, Anonymous Blondie said...

Weird, you're in a social setting, talking to some horrendous looking person of the other sex that you, literally, CANNOT get away from for 3 minutes, and it feels like the longest 2 years of your life?

Welcome to the experience that is had by any girl at any bar. ever.

Agreeing to go speed dating is like enabling my worst nightmare to come true.

At 4:36 PM, Anonymous Blondie said...

Wait a minute, YOU of all non-materialistic, non-overconfident people clicked with the hot girl who's far too into herself?! GASP! I demand a recount.

And welcome to every girl's night at the bar:

"God! I couldn't get away from this guy, and even though it was only 3 minutes, it felt like the longest time ever. He didn't even have a friggin job!"

At 8:39 PM, Anonymous Blondie said...

Uh, sorry. Got a little excited with the comment posting apparently. I guess I MADE MY POINT CLEAR!

At 10:27 PM, Anonymous Shaun said...

Holy anti-speed dating rant! That's crazy..

So are you telling me you wouldn't date a guy who didn't have a job? LOL -- I know girls (quite a few) who have like married guys like that. It's really quite funny...


On a brighter note, I'm in sales -- so it kinda helps me practice my believability game. To genuinely look interested in hearing them talk about some outrageously boring shit -- ie. their job (yawn! "I don't give a care about your students!")

As for clicking with the girl who's into herself -- why can you not believe that?! lol .. it's a match made in heaven!:)

(And thank you for the NON-materialistic / NON-overconfident compliment. I take it very much to heart:) )


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