Oh Punk

Pet Peeves: Fire Alarms and Flamers..

First of all, I want to wake up to this, not this:

There is NOTHING more annyoing than that! Even Mrs. Swan ain't got nothing this. Damn. After waking up to that code red, I was bitter. Bitter like chewing on a rubber band bitter!

But as fate would have it, my friend Bif was in the neighbourhood, and we decided to go to our local lunch spot -- I wake up late, what do you want? -- and harass the waitresses.

It wasn't long until he showed up at my condo, and buzzed me from the lobby. I buzzed him in, and quickly ran out into the hall way outside my unit. I crouched around a corner and waited patiently.

As soon as the elevator door opened and he made the turn towards my door, I was going to jump out from behind the corner and scare his ass dead. It would be payback from the time I was at my friend Fever's place, and Bif threw on a Mexican wrestling mask, grabbed a samurai sword and ran around the house wielding the blade! Those fuckers laughed at my reaction for days (they sill do).

Today, payback would be mine.

So the elevator door opened. I heard a couple a footsteps and BAM! I jumped out.


In front of me did not stand Bif. It was the flamer from my floor. He was clutching his chest going "Oh my God, Oh my God..."

This was the same princess motherfucker who approached me just a few days earlier when I was decked out in my gym clothes. "Ohh, you live on my floor too?" -- "Ohh you work out? We should go swimming together!"

What the fuck?

"We should go swimming together?" -- no fucking thank you. I'll pass, as in fail.

The funnier part when he was like "I haven't seen you around, are you new to the floor? I know everyone! Just never met you!"

Me: "Nah man. I moved in March. Got my self into a little trouble, so I had to serve some time?"

Flamer: "Serve time in jail?"

Me: "Yeah man. My boy was in a brawl at a bar. He was getting beat good. I didn't know what to do, so I grabbed a pen and stabbed the guy beating him. I've been I served four months... I just got out, but I have a feeling I'm gonna be back there in no time."

Anyway after my jail story and jumping around screaming incidents, I'm sure he'll never invite my ass swimming again. After catching his breath and me apologizing a few times, he was really scared, and scurried away. It was actually funny...

But forget that guy, where was Bif?

He calls just seconds later, "Hey, what floor are you on again?"

So again, I went back to my hiding spot. Again, I patiently waited for the elevator doors to open. The open. He steps out. He makes the turn towards my apartment. I jump out!


Bif looks at me blankly and says: "What the fuck is wrong with you?"


There are 11 comments:

At 4:16 PM, Anonymous Ancient Clown said...

This is a cool site dude...nice pics, layout, etc. GREAT JOB.
I just posted my first documentary on mine. I'm exposing the cops and councillers as the LIARS they are. I'd love to get your feedback as it is my first project and I'd like to get an idea of how different people see it.
It's called "Heaven's Hero's". It's also on GOOGLE videos, See if you can get your friends to watch and rate it as well. Cheers Brother.
your humble servant,
Ancient Clown

At 5:43 PM, Anonymous LaFanfarlo said...

I like it...A few days ago, I talked to a woman (you know, very interesting); she said frequently "I meet 100 guys every day!!!", or "I don't understand you!!!" Of course, she's silly (well, she writes and sings, and has a lot of contacts, but...); and it's funny that you describe "the annoying feeling".VISIT MY EGOTECA

At 10:37 PM, Anonymous Woran said...

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At 10:39 PM, Anonymous Arthur Moushamashimash said...

Hey you dumb sheeple.

WHy do you act like that when you've just been obviously brainwashed by
viacom propaganda. You are not good and I doubt your abilities in blogging.
Please leave before I outwit you

Stupid idiot

Comment if you have the balls

PS you're a sheeple

At 10:50 PM, Anonymous Pete. said...

Very Good!

At 5:51 PM, Anonymous Shaun said...

Please leave what? My own blog. Listen al-queda (arthur, or whatever the fuck your name is), I checked your blog and I wasn't impressed.

It was on DVD vs VHS or something - whack.

Long live Viacom, biatch!

At 8:44 PM, Anonymous Blondie said...

It's always such a letdown when you don't get the reaction you're looking for. I have had a few "scare the wrong person" incidents as well.

At 9:44 AM, Anonymous Shaun said...

Yeah, I totally agree! Wehn people don't react you feel lik such an idiot -- but, hey -- if you don't that chance, you might never see them jump out of their seat and scream like no tomorrow!

As for "scare the wrong person" incidents -- they're funny but... I wouldn't be scared of you! lol

At 11:45 PM, Anonymous Brainwasher said...

Dude, gay guys gotta hit on people too. You might want to just say that you're not into that, instead of making up dumb stories about jail. Like most any guy, if they realize they're not going to let laid they'll lose all interest in talking to you.

At 11:46 PM, Anonymous Brainwasher said...

Ha ha, *get* laid. I am the spelling master.

At 1:49 AM, Anonymous Shaun said...

Ahhh I know.. I know.. but.. it's much more fun to make up stories! This post would sucked if ran a "so this guy invited me to go swimming -- but I told him, nah, I wasn't into it..."

I do it for you Brainwasher. I do this all for you! lol...


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