Oh Punk

Sucks vs. Does NOT Suck

Sucks: Notes of Punkage attached to Cheques

Remember a little while back, I had written a post on my friends writing stupid messages on the MEMO field of cheques? Well, worry not, these antics still continue today. Yesterday, my friend Jon passed me a cheque (he pays me to be his friend).

Take a look at what it says in the MEMO field:



Fucking Jon! How'm I supposed to cash this shit?


Does NOT Suck: Coke Blak

Coffee flavoured coke? I'm addicted! It's coming to stores near you soon -- and for now -- I've got one bottle, glass bottle, left in my fridge. I'm saving it for breakfast! What's wrong with having coffee in the morning? Sure this is carbonated... and mixed with Coke, but it's del.icio.us!



(Yes, I know -- that's just a snippit -- but I have way to much alcohol in my fridge. Keep your alcoholic relatives away, please!)


Sucks: My Conehead Neighbours having Sex

Last night, I jumped into bed and hid my body under the covers. My room was quiet and dark. I sat there in the still of the darkness. That was until I heard the now-familiar sound of an old spring matress bouncing up and down. Over and over. Ugh, my stupid Conehead neighbours were having sex again. Gross! I never hear any sounds, EVER! But for some odd reason the frequency of their cheap-ass bed seems to penetrate through the conrete walls! Disgusting.

As usual the spring noises went on for about two minutes before dying out. But fuck them. And fuck that Conehead bitch (she really does have a Conehead, an awful cackle of a laugh, and hideous, hideous teeth.. my gosh, God Save the Queen). If she comes near me, I'm gonna shoot her with some laser ray or something. I'll build one, watch me. Take that Conehead!

I didn't know what to do, so I stood up against the wall and started singing Oh Canada as loud as I could. I'm a terrible singer, but... "Oh, Canada... Our home and native land..."

Tomorrow, I'm waking up at 5:30am, and blasting some annoying shit like Kelly Clarkson's "Since you've been Gone" and leaving that running all day (see the video link, trust me). Fuck them! I hate them.

I hate them so much, that if I see them in the building I pretend not to see them, or turn around and go the other way. I'll even sit in my car for a longer period of time if I see them walking in the parking garage -- they park beside me, just my luck.

Losers!


Does NOT Suck: Ray Fucking Liotta

Do I really have to say anything? Seriously?





Does NOT Suck: Corned Beef from a Can and Mayonaise

Mmmmm, Corned Beef from a can and mayonaise sandwhich for dinner! This boy doesn't dine out at fancy restos every night. Didn't y'all know? Well now you do. Don't hate. I know you're jealous. Don't lie. You are! I know one person (aside from me) who's salivating. Laugh!




Sucks: Not servicing your brakes!

Don't be lazy. Don't be cheap. Service your braking system frequently. What's $100? I didn't and my rear assembly ceased! But I fixed it (with some help) this afternoon -- and voila -- I'm back bitches, and now I can stop.




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There are 4 comments:



At 11:46 PM, Anonymous Greg said...

Speaking of Ray Liotta not sucking, his new show Smith starts next week. I have seen the pilot and can confirm that it in no way sucks.

 
At 6:54 PM, Anonymous Blondie said...

Endorse the cheque and send it my way! NOt that I er... uh, participate in those activities, but I'd take $300 to give the teller something to talk about.

 
At 7:20 PM, Anonymous Shaun said...

Laugh! if you'd let me do what the cheque says -- then hey, the $300 is all yours! ALL YOURS!

hahahahaha!

 
At 1:51 AM, Anonymous Shaun said...

Greg, that's pretty cool - I'm going to download it now!!! *ahh illegal downloading*

As long as there are no Operation Dumbo Drop references in the work, anything Ray Liotta is Gold.

Henry Hill for Mayor.

 

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