Oh Punk

Operation Opera...

Ever been to anything Opera related? I did, last night...



I hooked up with an old highschool friend, Helen, who of late has been taking Opera training. Anyhow, apparently she's down with Maestro who was running this recital down in Yorkville, and took me as her guest!

Now what guy goes to the opera? Really? I was bracing myself for the worst. Thinking that it would drag on like praying all FOUR sets of rosary mysteries (for y'all non-Catholics, it's just a super long prayer -- mutiplied by four. For you Cathlolics out there who aren't the know -- see this -- and by the way, you are going to hell! I am too, except as Executive Vice-President of Recuitment, I got the job on Workopolis...)

BUT... it turned out to be excellent. I had a great time. Although, I wasn't quite sure if I was enchanted by the voice of the songstress or engrossed in looking at all the pretentious snobbery around me.

Imagine, if I had shouted out "G-UNIT!" at the end of the show! Those people would have me upside down on a fork, or at the very least call me a clown similar to how Goldhawk did...

I swear I saw Thurston J. Howell III. You know? The millionaire from Gilligan's Island! This imitation Thurston was decked out in a nice blazer complete with collared shirt and a SCARF inside the shirt -- awesome! I didn't know people existed like that.

Anyhow, my friend was going clubbing with her girl friends and extended the invite. Later on in the night a friend of mine was like "Why would you turn down going out with a bunch of girls?"

Obviously he hasn't been the only guy in a group of girls during a girl's night out. That shit is fucking crazy talk. Example...

A few years ago I went out to a club with a friend -- a girl -- and her friends from university. At the bar she offers to buy me a drink. Being thoughtful, I thought of the cheapest beer available, and asked her for a "Blue."

Moments pass and she comes back with this round, tall-ass glass. It's filled with something blue, there's fruit lining the rim, and an umbrella sticking out of it.

Me: "What the hell is this?"

Her:
"A Blue Lagoon?"

Me:
"I asked for a Blue, as in a Labatt Blue..."

Her:
"Oh, by Blue I thought you meant Blue Lagoon. Silly me!"

WTF? Silly me? Now I was stuck with this drink? What do I do? Pour it out? It's still alcohol right? To make matter's worse, some guy tried to pick up one of her piggy friends and was being friendly and intro'd himself to me. He was like "Eh, I'm so and so... nice drink by the way!"

It was evident that I was *that* guy with a bunch of girls, holding a fruity drink. Fuck!

So yeah, point of the story, don't hang with girls. If they ask you to come out -- unless their HOT friends are drunk and good to go -- save yourself the headaches and JUST SAY NO! (and by HOT, I mean HOT...)

... after dropping her home, I met up with some friends and played Nintendo Wii for a bit! Ever try it? It's insane:



And that was that. Went out for a bit after that with another friend; got home and was stuck up until 3:30am -- so consider today a write off!

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There are 2 comments:



At 8:47 PM, Anonymous Lil Lex said...

When the title of this post said "Opera" I thought you were talking about a web browser.

Did I run this joke aleady?

 
At 8:55 PM, Anonymous Shaun said...

You ran it already...

... but, to me, it's still funny.

Seriously, who uses that? The internet's first pay for use browser. That sure took off!

... Damn it, they are in Oslo, Norway. I could've visited this past summer! Their site even has a "Come visit us!" section. That would be wicked. A visit of punkage! Especially during their tour of their office! "I'd rather use Mosaic 1.2 over Opera!"

http://www.opera.com/company/visitors/

Laugh!

 

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