Oh Punk

Second place -- "F**k you, pay me!"

One of the most exiciting things about winter is playing ESPN's NBA Fastbreak: The Pro Hoops Salary Cap game with my friends! I'm actually serious about this.

You're given a set weekly budget to build an NBA team, and are awarded points based on your selected player's real life performance. Needless to say this shit is addictive, and competition in our sub-set group, "GhostDivision", is fierce.

So the other night while watching the Raptor's season opener at my friend Al's house -- I logged onto Fastbreak to see how well my teams were doing.

After checking my scores, I walked away leaving his made-for-females MacBook Pro lying around -- forgetting to log out. A few moments later I saw Al and my other friend Chin on the MacBook, giggling like little school girls:

The had changed my global name to display the above! Oh Punk!!! But the worst part was this:

They had changed my star filled roster of Kevin Garnett and Dwayne Wade to the likes of Jason Hart and Aaron McKie. Who the fuck is Aaron McKie? It doesn't matter, he's injured, and I bet I make more money than he does... That's whack!

Needless to say, I caught this little sneak attack and set things straight before it ruined my score! On a brighter note, I finished the week in second place in the 98th percentile OVERALL (in the world), unlike their asses tied for 7th in our division. Figures they'd have the same score:

Punking me that Yao Ming wasn't playing? Surprise bitches! He played -- and rocked out. That's right.

It's a good thing we weren't playing for cash, otherwise right now I'd be saying: "Business is bad? Fuck you, pay me. Oh, you had a fire? Fuck you, pay me. The place got hit by lightning, huh? Fuck you, pay me" (Best sound clip ever btw!!!)

That's right! And out of spite, I didn't pick Yao Ming this week just so you fun boys can catch up!

Above: "WTF is this? A MacBook Pro?" *insert random Chinese comment in Mandarin, follwed by uncontrollable goofy Chinese laughter*

Above: "But my mom said I could have a MacBook pro! Yao Ming has one!" *cry* *sob* *cry* "I'm not playing until I get one. I want one NOW, NOW! NOW!" *cry*

Above: "I want the MacBook Pro. Don't touch me! I hate you" *sob* cry* *tear*

Above: "Vince, we're going to the Apple store right now! Please stop crying. You're such a little bitch!"

Note: It would suck if Vince Carter came to my house and beat me up! Fuck -- I saw that guy at his club once, and he like towered over me! Vince if you touch me, I'm telling your mom...


There are 25 comments:

At 9:27 PM, Anonymous chin said...

wait, you don't know who Aaron McKie is yet you're bragging that you're in second place? So basically you're bragging about your team being a big fluke.

At 10:22 PM, Anonymous Shaun said...

Wait a second -- rewind 365 days. Yeah, that's what I thought -- I lead week one as well -- oh wait, it's on your blog, look right... here:


And in case you don't wanna click on the link, here's the story:

Who would’ve called Shaun being in first place (except Shaun of course)??? It’s cool having a lot of people in our group this year. And it’s also funny to hear Shaun realize the destructive power of ai. His score is real, but his VGM points are not!

That's right.

At 7:55 AM, Anonymous Chin said...

*His score is real, but his VGM points are not!*

At 9:12 AM, Anonymous Shaun said...

Kinda like our version of AI. His RSVPing is real, but his attendance is not!

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