Oh Punk

All I want for Christmas...

We all have heard this saying:

"If you are naughty this year, you will get a lump of coal from Santa..."

The question at hand is: If one is extra bad will they get more coal?

For instance, if I texted Santa with this note: "Dear Saint Nick, this year I started a brush fire that burned down a medium sized village and killed three cats..." will he send me a lakeliner brimming full of coal?

If so, that would be phenomenal!

How could kids think coal is a crappy gift? They're on crack! I personally welcome massive quantities of coal. Energy costs have skyrocketed over the past few years, so free coal translates to free money. Cha-ching!

Ever check out Peabody Energy Corporation stocks?



They mine coal, and that's all the do. If you got on board back in 2002 you could've bought stocks for $5.00, and flipped them this summer for $70.00. If you were really bad like I was that year, you'd be RICH bitch -- rich!

All I'm saying is, Santa, if you're reading this, hear me out. For 2006, I willl be a sport and accept the coal from the other bad kids who don't want theirs (they'll probably throw it little kids, and we certainly don't want that happening on Christmas).

Think about it! You can mitigate your costs by consolidating your coal deliveries to just one spot.

And if the delivery of my coal is turning out to be a logistical nightmare, just hook me up with coal stock certificates. Fedex it even. I'm not a snob, I'll be content, and you'll be able to finish your deliveries in record time.

Love Shaun!

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There are 6 comments:



At 9:05 PM, Anonymous gabriel said...

hi santa I want one of those skateboard that is signed by Tony Hawk that you can ride on and just stair at it all night.And I want a nintendo wii to.and I want a playstation 3 so bad please bring those things to me please please pppllleeeaaassseee bring those things to me.




sincerely
Gabriel carpenter

 
At 1:44 PM, Anonymous Shaun said...

Gabriel, you sound like a brat -- so -- hopefully you don't get anything you wished for. And no coal either. Hopefully Enron stocks!

 
At 12:50 AM, Anonymous Blondie said...

Gabriel, don't listen to him. Shaun's just angry because he was getting coal all his life when it wasn't worth anything, then he got rid of it right before the boom, that's why he's so bitter.

 
At 2:56 AM, Anonymous Shaun said...

Actually.. my parents always got me everything I ever dreamed off. I kind of wish that they also got me coal-stocks. *sigh* Imagine? Oh snap...

Rich rich rich -- now I have to work on shady business schemes...

 
At 2:02 PM, Anonymous e-Karl said...

and all Shaun ever wanted was his two front teeth... his two front teeth... all Shaun ever wanted was his two front teeth...

lol

 
At 11:52 AM, Anonymous Shaun said...

... two front teeth and a Lamborghini Gallardo ...

*sigh*

 

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