All I want for Christmas...
We all have heard this saying:
"If you are naughty this year, you will get a lump of coal from Santa..."
The question at hand is: If one is extra bad will they get more coal?
For instance, if I texted Santa with this note: "Dear Saint Nick, this year I started a brush fire that burned down a medium sized village and killed three cats..." will he send me a lakeliner brimming full of coal?
If so, that would be phenomenal!
How could kids think coal is a crappy gift? They're on crack! I personally welcome massive quantities of coal. Energy costs have skyrocketed over the past few years, so free coal translates to free money. Cha-ching!
Ever check out Peabody Energy Corporation stocks?
They mine coal, and that's all the do. If you got on board back in 2002 you could've bought stocks for $5.00, and flipped them this summer for $70.00. If you were really bad like I was that year, you'd be RICH bitch -- rich!
All I'm saying is, Santa, if you're reading this, hear me out. For 2006, I willl be a sport and accept the coal from the other bad kids who don't want theirs (they'll probably throw it little kids, and we certainly don't want that happening on Christmas).
Think about it! You can mitigate your costs by consolidating your coal deliveries to just one spot.
And if the delivery of my coal is turning out to be a logistical nightmare, just hook me up with coal stock certificates. Fedex it even. I'm not a snob, I'll be content, and you'll be able to finish your deliveries in record time.
Tags: santa claus santa coal lump of coal stocking peabody energy corporation christmas naughty bad
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