Oh Punk

Beat him... with a stick!

Back in the day whenever you performed poorly in school, got caught up in some mischief (ie. counterfitting money), or were misbehaving (ie. using counterfit money) -- confronting your parents was the last thing you'd ever wanna do.

Many of you probably dropped things such as "Yo officer, take me to jail for a few nights, anything but drive me home" or "Miss, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease don't tell my parents! I swear, I'll do better! Please believe me... please believe me! I'll stay after class and help you clean the classroom!"

Why? Because you knew the minute your parents heard word of your antics they'd beat your ass. *smack* *smack* *smack*

Some of us had it worse than others. I remember a ton of kids who got the "belt." That always scared the hell out of me. Thankfully, browns tend to beat their kids with cheap wooden cooking spoons *laugh*, so I was safe -- but not safe enough to know not to mess around...

I also rememeber there many kids who ran around doing whatever they wanted. "I can get bad marks and my parents won't beat me... nya nya nya!" It's funny, I was so jealous -- but -- I now see them as 29 year olds working full-time in grocery stores. "Hey you went to so and so elementary school..." Me: "Uhh, yeah. " Them: "That's awesome. I remember you! Whatcha doing now?" Me: "Uhh working. Listen, I'm in a hurry do you know where they keep non-fat sliced Turkey breast?"

Just goes to show you a good deserved spanking will keep you straight -- while kids who were bad and got to do whatever they wanted turned out (in general) to be punks.

It's a real shame that we live in an age where spanking is virtually unheard of. And some of the punishments are so lame...

... my brother for instance is still fairly young. As a punishment for playing too many games and doing poorly in a few classes he was forced to delete all his computer games. Additionally, his computer's memory chips and his high-powered video-graphics card was removed -- rendering the system useless for any decent games.

What the hell? I would've LOVED to receive that punishment. Seriously! What is that? Beat him! Beat him with a stick! I even told my parents to, but all my dad would say was "You know, what's he going to learn from that Shaun? Use your head!" (I learned -- come on -- he'll learn!)

I wish I had kids. Man, I'd just wait for them to be bad -- especially around Christmas time. And come Christmas day, they'd open their presents and despite being bad they'd still get a Playstation 3 or whatever is big then. They'd also be warned at that moment that the gift is for behaving.

We all know the kids will be back to their usual bad self within a few days -- so it's just a matter of waiting. The minute they do something crazy, I'd call in sick from work the next day (while they're at school). I'd then pack their Playstation 3 or whatever and take it down to the local lepracy orphanage (do those exist? Apparently they were popular in times of Jesus)...

Anyhow, I'd install it for the leper kids and let them go nuts. I'd tape them having a blast playing all the latest games and then go home with the tape.

Eventually my slacker-brat kids would get home from school and be all like "Dad, where the hell is the PS3?" at which point I'd turn on my the video of the leper babies playing and having fun with their PS3!

Laugh. I can just imagine their faces! They'd be sooooo mad! That would teach them a lesson...

... and what are they gonna do? get their lepracy infested Ps3 back from the Leper babies? Not happening. Anyhow, I can't wait.

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There are 7 comments:



At 11:18 PM, Anonymous Greg said...

Yeah, the lepers would love the PS3, right up until their fingers fell off, which would make it pretty hard to use the controller. Just think, there'd you be in the middle of a fierce gunfight with some aliens or something, and your trigger finger falls off. Damn, that would suck. Those aliens would then kick your ass...

 
At 12:25 AM, Anonymous Rubes said...

LOL omg I have not laughed so hard in such a long time, wtf lepers you came up with that anology of all the ones out there! haha your kids are gonna be hella messed up can't wait! hahahah

 
At 6:41 AM, Anonymous colddrinkfriends said...

hey let the kids mom(guess ladies are soft hearted and extent of punishment is very small) decide how to punish kids (according to me kids should not be punished at all) ........wondering you in canada and believe in corporal punishment

 
At 2:08 PM, Anonymous Blondie said...

All I can say is that I'm GLAD you're nowhere near becoming a parent, WHEW! I know we certainly don't have an abundancy of lepracy orphanages here in town...

 
At 3:48 PM, Anonymous Johnny said...

i went thru those spanking days too but it was a rattan (some sort of soft wood) cane. my dad was strict with me too. but then they were too strict in a certain way. today, the way my 2 kids missed me was not the same way i missed my parents when they were away working.

 
At 1:06 AM, Anonymous Maj Pain said...

Funny stuff and great blog!

 
At 6:24 PM, Anonymous Shaun said...

Greg: LOL -- damn aliens.

Rubes: Lepers own! I remember I saw one at this place where I was signing for a container that I shipped in from the states, and he passed my customs form. I was so grossed out, he gave me a pen, and I kinda stuck my hand in my sleeve -- picked up the pen with it, and wrote like that.. mean, but yo -- I don't want lepracy! As for messed up? No way. Well behaved, refiend, normal and successful individuals.

Colddrinkfriends: Well I don't believe in full corporal punishment, but -- kids need to be disciplined a bit. Nothing to the extent of abuse -- children are precious, but sometimes I think they need to learn a lesson. Worked on most of us...

Blondie: What's wrong with me being a parent? *smirk* I'd be okay! :) As for lepracy orphanages... do you you know if any exist? I'm doing my research now! LOL

Johnny: I agree -- there is a limit, although, kids shouldn't get off free. A little bit goes a long way -- at least in my eyes.

MajPain: Thanks! Checked out your blog! Very well done!

 

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