Oh Punk

I'm on to you...

I decided to be bad this morning. I stopped by McDonald's for a Sausage and Egg McMuffin with orange juice! While sitting in the drive-thru, I noticed the mark of our city's newest Super Villain:



I'm on to you Pedestrian X! You can run, but you can't hide. I've got you photographed, bitch:



Alright, so I'm not a comic book nerd, but I have been watching NBC's Heroes on my video player at the gym. What a wicked show -- talk about addictive.

Seeing all these people who can fly, teleport or even instantly heal themselves got me thinking: Not everyone can have impressive super powers. It's impossible. The way the show touts humans as genetically evolving worldwide at exponential rates means that there must exist some people that have some whacky, ghetto, useless powers.

Wouldn't it suck to be stuck with a shitty super power? For instance someone who can compute complex equations such as Pi in their head.

"Uhhh Pi to 1 million places is 3.1415926535897932384626433832...."

What the hell is that good for? Take that Superman! Not sure if that would do anything but put people to sleep!

If super heroes had superhero summits (equivalaent to a sales summit except replace sales pigs with super heroes) Pi-Man would be THAT guy.

Who's THAT guy?

Hmmm... THAT guy is that guy. You know? Whenever THAT guy come about everyone would go "Oh God, there's that fucking Pi-Guy. Look busy. Quick. 'Soooo yeah, Deathray man, how's the Nasdaq treating you? Get in on any good foreign funds this year? What about you Aquawoman, you diversifying your portfolio' ... *phew* good he's gone I was running out of financial jargon. Let's get out of here before his ass comes back to talk to us! Fuck that guy!"

He probably rolls with the likes Pedestrian X and that guy who can solve Rubik's Cubes blind folded....

.... point of the story. If you meet a genie and are dumb enough to ask for a superpower, make sure your ass qualifies that statement! Word?



Above: She's a genie in a bottle, and I'd love to rub her the right way... What?! That *IS* Christina Aguilera right? She *DID* sing that in that Genie in a Bottle song, right? So how is this bad? Really. I'm just re-iterating what *SHE* said.

Speaking of wet dreams: For those of you interested in Pi to a Million places, here it is.

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