Oh Punk

Rambo will brings you to tears

The new Rambo movie is definitely not a children's movie...

Second of all, this was not a movie. Think of it as a short film. I've baked store made lasagna's that have cooked slower than how quickly Rambo whizzed by! To quote the young thug behind me:

"Dang yo, this movie was like 47 minutes long!"

I couldn't have said it better myself. But don't let the elapsed timeline fool you. I lifted my personal ban on violent movies for a night to watch this bloodbath in which over 236 are killed -- that's 3.04 kill per minute! There were more kills in this movie than sentences! Maybe even more kills than words. A sample of dialogue: "My name is John" -- "Go home" -- "Go home" and "Go home."

For furthere Rambo statistics please refer to the following Rambo Death Chart:

Sylvester Stallone says "This is the most violent movie ever." I agree. Rambo 4 makes the village scene from Predator and the bank robbery shootout scene from Heat look like something out of a Hannah Montana special.

This is also definitely the best movie that I've seen all year -- which is not saying much considering the only other movies that I've seen were Cloverfield and 27 Dresses (it was a date!!)

And what did the general public think?

... what a bunch of dead beats. I wonder if they'll ever release the director's cut, Rambo IV: Oscar visits Burma?

... Oscar, what a terrible movie! Stallone in a comedy? Get out of there!

There are 8 comments:

At 4:04 PM, Blogger Rubex Cube said...

I love the HEAT shootout scene that was kick ass! Along the lines the chase scene in Ronin was Oscar worthy also...

Damn gotta watch this movie just to say that I saw it...meh!

How was 27 dresses?

At 11:31 PM, Anonymous Greg said...

The Heat bank robbery shootout is the best movie shootout. Period. No background music after Kilmer fires his first burst, just automatic gunfire echoing off buildings. Awesome.

Maybe Judge Dredd could go to Burma with Oscar. "I am the Law!" "Prepare to be judged". Ugh. And I saw that piece of crap at the theatre.

At 11:32 PM, Blogger Lil Lex said...

Killing's as easy as breathing

At 1:11 PM, Anonymous Amber said...

You think Oscar was bad, how about "Stop or my Mom will shoot!"?

At 5:10 PM, Blogger Shaun said...

Rubex: Haven't seen the Ronin scene (I'll check it out), but the HEAT scene, I try to watch it at least once a month! lol, it's fantastic. As for 27 Dresses, super cute. Date movie! :) [Only I could have a convo mentioning 27 Dresses and HEAT in the same breath. To redeem for this gayness, I would like to say that I'd like to sleep with Katherin Heigel. There, I said it!]

Greg: Yeah man. The echos off the building are ridiculous!!! And Judge Dredd! Ugh. Bad bad movie. Wonder if you can claim your refund plus interest..

Lex: Word. Wanna go hunting next week?

Amber: OMG, I totally forgot Stop or my mom will shoot. Terrible! He's still a great actor!

At 2:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You guys need to check out this Rambo spoof! It's worth 2 minutes!!


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