Oh Punk

Things I learned wathcing Cloverfield...

Last night after dinner and the Raptor's game, we went out to watch JJ Abram's new flick, Cloverfield. By time we arrived at the theatre, there were only tickets to the 11:45pm showing -- and -- the lineup was INSANE...

... the line up only got worse later! I haven't seen this much hype for a movie since ID4 (Independence Day). Anyhow, by watching this movie I learned a few things:

1) Opening day shows are always rammed packed! Why can't we just watch movies during the week?

2) Teenagers are obnoxious, annoying and loud. If we -- and by we, I mean I, as we know my friends' track record for backing people up -- got into an altercation with one (or three) wannaba-gang bangers, the police would probably believe whatever story I made up because I'm old, well dressed, and a real taxpayer.

3) Cloverfield is all filmed from a digital camerapoint of view. I think I saw this movie before, it was called The Blair Witch Project.

4) If spiderlike monsters are wandering the streets, *don't* descend into the subway and try to run through DARK subway tunnels. Seriously? What are you thinking?

5) When the city is exploding all around you or your best friend is being attacked by monsters, don't stand there filming. Help him, dummy!

6) If you have the opportunity to jump on a millitary evacuation shopper while your city is under siege by unknown alien monsters, *don't* tell them you're not interested in being evacuated...

7) ... and *don't* ask for directions on how to get back to the city.

8) ... and if your friend is dragging you on some bizzare suicide mission to rescue his pseudo-girlfriend who's possibly dead, don't go. Take the chopper. Trust me, she dies later. And if you feel bad about hurting your friend's feelings, don't. Just tell him "Listen man, you had plenty of chances to tell her your feelings. You hesistated. And we all know hesitation leads to masturbation..."

9) Nokia cell phones have poor battery life.

10) I have no clue what Step Up 2 is or all about. I just saw the poster and was like "Gatdamn" -- I am such a marketer's dream

Is it me, or did they ripoff the poster for Honey?

Doesn't matter. Looks hot. Plus, have you ever seen Jessica Alba dance?


There are 2 comments:

At 9:40 PM, Blogger chinwhat said...

i liked blair witch better.

this movie = fail

At 7:14 PM, Blogger Shaun said...

I didn't really like Cloverfield *BUT* I don't think I'd go out and say Blair With Project was better! That's nuts!


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